anyone

[cyanidebreathmint]

i could use a hug from anyone. a silent hug. and long. and from someone 3 times my size, the kind that kind of crushes you.

if my dad were alive, i'd take one of his hugs, the kind i got when i was a kid.

i just imagined getting an amazing hug from him, and then punching him hard in the gut.

"that's for not taking care of yourself and leaving me alone in the world. fuck you, keep hugging me."

i want a hug where i get to be completely furious and still be held.

don't think i've ever had one like that

or that temple grandin hugging machine, too. i'd take that, whatever.

[SurrealistScone]

That's fucking powerful. I hope you are doing OK. Your username is my favorite Beck song,

[cyanidebreathmint]

Thanks Surreal,

I'm a bit better now. I've been with people all day and that helps me even out (sometimes). I hope you're doing ok, too. I saw your post about the panic attack.

Isn't that whole Beck album just amazing? It's my favorite album. I bought it by mistake, I think, in 1998 or something. I was a kid, and I was trying to find "Loser", which was his radio hit around that time.


Cy