What I am currently working on, part 2

[manuel_moe_g]

Had pretty good session with my therapist

One of my major problems is being stuck in "complete depressive resignation"

My therapist reminded me that "complete depressive resignation" is just a feeling, and not a permanent intrinsic way of being for me

So that means what feels like "complete depressive resignation" actually is just a feeling with a beginning, a middle, and an end.

One way to combat "complete depressive resignation" is with an emotional spark of happiness.

I think about the past, the present, and the future of my relationship with my wife and daughter during happy times.

Then I do "cheer-leading" for myself. This has in the past been hard for me. The easiest way to do it is to imagine how I would cheer on my daughter, then flip it around to cheering myself. Authentic cheer-leading is about Love, Appreciation, and Validation of Capability. The important thing is to finish up with "I" statements, so it is very clear that I am speaking positively about myself. This is not easy for me to do, so I have to ease into it as so.

Then I treat my comfort zone firmly but compassionately. It has in the past tried to help me with short term fixes that hurt me in the long run, but its nature is one of trying to help me.

Then I treat my mean inner critic firmly but compassionately. My mean inner critic is primarily fear based, and it wants to keep me safe and motivated, but it does so in a destructive way.

Then, from this island of safety that I have constructed in the prior steps, I can stretch and leave my comfort zone a little bit and do some productive work in the time I would usually use to be in a darkened room with my eyes closed, or time I would be self-soothing with eating, or time I would be spending on the internet. This is a gentle sustainable way to stretch out my comfort zone in a productive way.

[oak]

Very good! This is a great plan.

How’s it going so far?

[manuel_moe_g]

Hello Oak!

It is going well. I am managing my expectations - this is supposed to work as a course correction, not as a massive change in my behavior. The key is to concentrate on "sustainable" change.

all the best