When you both have Bipolar II and OCD...

[Dazed & Confused]

...it can be really really hard. It doesn't matter if we sync up or are on completely different emotional roller coasters. It's just as exhausting either way.

Part of the problem is that I'm medicated and regularly see a psychiatrist while my husband has not sought any professional help. Some of the hardest days are those when I see him struggling and realize that, even though I have the same struggles, I have no idea how to help him. I offer all of the wrong things, and, most recently, accidentally helped escalate his anxiety and depression into a full blown angry panic attack. I think we both cried that night. Though I'm not sure because I ended up sleeping on the couch.

I love my husband. And we have a bond too powerful to describe. Our love is fierce and our relationship is solid. We both apologized the next day and hugged for an eternity. But in those moments, when both of us are feeling the power of all of our symptoms it's almost scary to see and feel the wrath of mental illness.

When I'm feeling down and frustrated with his "help" I need to remember that neither of us is particularly receptive when we're in an escalated state of panic, paranoia, compulsions, or obsessions. When you feel like you're dying and the whole world is crashing down on you it's hard to answer the question "how can I help?" That's a question for when we both are calm and receptive.

Are there any of you out there who are in a relationship with someone who also has mental illness? How do you both handle that challenge? I'm always looking for ways to do this whole relationship thing better.

Thanks for listening.