Moments in the Shade (poem about depression)

[SirPrincessButtercup]

Its walls impermeable to outside forces
like flowers blooming in the spring or friends hugging
all an assault to my overcharged senses
oblivious to everything except
what burns quietly in the shade

It's the cycle
the up swing and return
the up can't remember how dark the backswing was
on the up I think - thank God I'm here
like the dark was born in some other dimension
another version of me with an over zealous imagination
but then it comes again
like hell hounds clawing at the ground
foaming at the mouth
wanting to sink their teeth
into my part time sunny now cloudy self perceptions
my tired synapses
my new age meditations
and I fall through the rabbit hole
the cracks in my faith
where desperation hits me in everyone of my 12 steps
my addictions asking for one last dance
delivering me to individual burn moments
seconds that pass like hours
trying hard not to purchase my one way ticket
to the last train out
It's the burning seeping through my veins
the heat beneath the skin
with rib cage bars forcing an enslaved heart
to beat against its will
like thunder cracking like my voice does
in between the rocking back and forth

This is the only fear I have left
The backswing from the up
Thankful that today
I can still see the sun

[heart]

This is so perfect. Encapsulates the whole deal with depression. Everything I feel is in this poem!