Mind Body and Trauma

[snoringdog]

Hugs right back..

Feel better.

[Mental Fairy]

Hi Team

Little update, still not on solids. No desire to eat. Back on medicated fluids, nausea ++. Doctors have run some bloods this morning to see where we are as far as blood loss and inflammation. Awoke this morning to a beautiful hot cup of coffee delivered by Matt, if there was a spoon in it I’m sure it would stand up on its own. Sadly I can’t drink coffee but the gesture was nice all the same. Managed a walk with Donya and Soral but I can’t say it was easy. No energy in my tank.

I’m at the office this morning doing accounts. Would rather be here than in bed or on the couch, keep the mind distracted for a bit. I can’t wait for my holiday!

[Mental Fairy]

Looking out over the town

[Mental Fairy]

Cold!

[troebia]

MF, sorry you're feeling sick, but at least the view is nice
Wishing you a speedy recovery.

[Mental Fairy]

Thank you

[Mental Fairy]

Example of how lucid my dreams are: a person I know and used to work with for many years was in my dream last night, she farted in my dream and much to my disgust I could smell it and woke myself up.

[troebia]

I'll see your dream, MF, and raise you another 100:
The other night I woke up and was convinced that the person beside me in bed was a prostitute. Apparently in my dreams I had paid a woman (with southeast Asian vibes that isn't even my thing) to act out all my strange fantasies, and I felt both mortified and extremely satisfied for about three seconds until I recovered my bearings. That's what abstinence does to me, apparently.

[Mental Fairy]

We both need to be committed!!!

[Mental Fairy]

Here I am, half way through my Tuesday wishing i was on my bike instead of my office swivel chair. I can’t quite get it to spin fast enough to give me an adrenaline rush!

I’ve had an interesting couple of days. Saturday afternoon I got to drive my boss and his wife back to the Auckland in his massive 4x4. Not before stopping off at a local appliance store to purchase an air fryer for the clinic. Donya came along for the ride. Here we were in an appliance store with my boss and his wife 15 years our senior. We kind of felt like two teenagers with our parents. So I took the opportunity and started to pull Donya’s hair and play fight with her in the isle when the boss and his wife argued over what air fryer to purchase, also debate what’s better, a knob or a button! Raj was beside himself with laughter and we soon had to go to the car.

Dropping off the pair of them at the airport meant we had the truck to ourselves. We loved it. It was like a scene out of Thelma and Louise. Minus the ending!

Sunday Joe shocked me by joining me on a gentle bike ride along the ocean front. It was a lovely way to spend the morning. Upon arriving home I got the itch for more riding and headed for the hills on my road bike. The morning ride was on the mountain bike and it just didn’t feel the same. I made my way up to the hills but didn’t push myself too hard. I have learnt when enough is enough. Running has taken a back seat for a bit while I grapple at my inner bastard chimp telling me I’m not enough, as well as needing large amounts of sleep currently.

Sunday evening Donya, myself and Soral made our way to sanctuary retreat for a women’s evening. Let’s just say I danced with a bunch of women for the first time in my life after we shared our journeys. It was very interesting but not something I wish to do again anytime soon. I’ll stick to yoga and my two wheeled lover!

Yesterday I did another ride, got the legs stretched, made a lasagna and lunches for the week ahead. Joe has fully invested into breath work and reaping the rewards. I am still finding this fascinating that he wants to give all this a go. Very outside of his wheelhouse. He is also going to hand in his notice at work, this I know will be a challenge for him. He is looking at getting back behind the wheel. Not sure how this will go as after the women that put herself under his truck has left him with terrible anxiety, I foresee some upcoming changes in his mental state. Hoping the wellness trip in May will give him some tools to help him if anyone does that again.

If there was one wish granted to me it would be to switch of my negative self talk I am currently grappling with. I just want to get away and have this holiday.

I have booked for a deep tissue massage, something I have never had. That is in two weeks. Booked to have nails done before we go away, not done that for years. Oak was great at suggesting the colour I was going to go. I do miss him and think of him weekly.
Better get to work and make myself look busy!

Kiwi love to all.