Mind Body and Trauma

[Mental Fairy]

Lat night I was so tired from the coughing, sneezing and fatigue Bigfoot could have walked in my room and I wouldn’t have batted an eyelid!

Woken this morning with this congestion that surpasses any flu I have ever had in my living life! We leave in a week and a half so the pressure is on to try get better. I’ve not run, I’ve not biked and I’ve not walked since my hike a couple of weekends ago.

Snow is falling on the hills behind us, the South Island I hear is sitting in sub zero temperatures. That is music to my ears. I feel a glimmer of hope I could get better before this trip.

I’ve made a tent fort in the lounge for the cat to play in while I hid under the covers for the past five days. My inner child lives on SD!
Last night before bed Mazie wanted to pop down the stairs into the garage for some reason. She has been doing this a lot. I wanted to know why as we don’t have mice or rats. After sometime of her being downstairs I slowly made my way down to the bottom of the staircase, I turn the corner and there she is playing with spiders that live in corners of the shed. I was too tired to scream, I just picked her up and carried her back to bed. If she was covered in spiders I didn’t care! That’s how you know you’re not well!!

Donya is picking me up in an hour to try take me to work. Let’s see how this day goes! She needs the distraction as her mum went back to Iran.
Madness!

Thinking of you all. MM, keep your positive mindset going by friend, I still worry about you. Having the message from Oak the other day still has me buzzing.

[Mental Fairy]

Hi beautiful people
I’m still fighting off this flu that has now settled into pneumonia unfortunately. This is day 7. In turn this is caused a rather frustrating flair of the bowel.

Anywho, I’m still here.

On the bright side I’ve got my cat at my feet, expeditions unknown playing on my iPad and it’s 2degrees outside. Living the dream.

Oh and the medicine I’m on is giving me the most erotic dreams I’ve ever had so nightmares don’t bother me currently!!!!!

Back soon!

[snoringdog]

Hello Mental Fairy,

Keep fighting this thing. We're with you and look forward to you getting back on your feet.

[Mental Fairy]

Today has been a day of horizontal and vertical napping. When I’m laying down I sleep, when I’m standing up I trying not to fall asleep.

The only way I can explain the feeling, it’s like having an aquarium in my chest. Minus the fish!

Polar storm is causing beautiful skies down south, power grid is apparently on the blink.

I have so much I wish to type, however I’m absolutely exhausted currently so will pop back tomorrow morning.
Our pharmacist at work gave me a bottle of this witches brew to try. It tastes like it has been made in the boot of a Salem witch and strained through her leggings. It is incredibly difficult to take.

Hugs

[snoringdog]

Polar storm is causing beautiful skies down south, power grid is apparently on the blink.

It was overcast here last night, but cleared up today, so maybe we'll get to see something...

[Mental Fairy]

Good Morning Beautiful People

I’m almost over the flu, or the flu is over me!

It has a bit of a sting in its tail, chest still sore and lungs still rattle like my nearly dead ovaries.

Tornado warnings here today so my washing will have to wait. I’m back at work dealing with all sorts of patients from all walks of life and loving it.
Currently training a new person to help Donya out when I’m away and on leave for surgery. I can’t believe I’m leaving next week.

Joe is nervous and doing lots of walking. He knows this will be an emotional trip with lots of openness in conversations. He’s never been to a wellness retreat so this will be confronting for him.
I had a little talk with him last night about how this could all pan out. It will either make or break our marriage. He understands.

My son left his job a couple of weeks ago, his mood has been very low. He is worried he’s going to have no mum soon. My weight is plummeting fast due to the bowel disease, it hurts to eat currently as the mouth and lips are incredibly sore. On the plus side I can drink coffee again so something is working in my tummy to accept a hot brew in the morning.
For the first time since 2015 when the disease was found I can honestly say I’m ready now to have this bowel out of its that bad. I accept I can’t fight this much longer. To look at me I don’t look sick but on the inside I’m not exactly too self products! Mentally I’m holding up ok but I do miss my running and biking. I will be on the mountain again this Saturday. I want to take you all to the new bridge that was built.

Something that brings me comfort is all of you. For some reason when I’m having a tough day or on an adventure I feel like I have you all with me in some way. I’ve found myself looking at things a bit differently lately, admiring the moon, stars and ocean. Occasionally i say your names and wish you well individually.

You all are worth something to me at least, even if you don’t feel like it.

[oak]

Hello
A difficult reality to face
Pop culture suggestions

Hello

Mental Fairy, hello and thank you for sharing. I hope your trip goes well, and I am very glad to hear you are enjoying your work.

A difficult reality to face

Thank you for the courage to share about your at-the-breaking-point marriage. This is a difficult matter, and I hope you get a definitive answer soon.

For the first time since 2015 when the disease was found I can honestly say I’m ready now to have this bowel out of its that bad. I accept I can’t fight this much longer.

To speak plainly, and set aside any inane American over-optimism, thank you for your honesty about both your bowel and by “fight” I assume you mean your chances at life (though please correct me if that is not a correct assumption.)

Yes, it appears it is time for your bowel to go. I hope everything goes well with that surgery, and you keep us posted.

Regarding how much fight you have left, which I assume means for living, I encourage you to listen to your heart. You have put up so much fight for nearly ten years now. I was ready to welcome death after six hours of OG Covid, so I know first hand that death can be a welcome friend in such extreme times.

That said, as someone acquainted with the leading edge of cancer and surgical research, there is no better time for you to face this difficult issue than today. I don't want to dox myself, but daily there are astonishing advances in cancer and surgery. You can trust me on this. And you're in an advanced, first-world country with colleagues who are motivated to give you the best care.

To speak frankly, (1) you are facing a difficult diagnosis and (2) you have good reason for hope.

And finally, to be all Viktor Frankl, while we all face death, you also have several good sources of meaning for your life: yoga, ice baths, this forum, coffee, ducks, and running again.

Pop culture suggestions: music

I don't know how much you like Irish music, but here are The Corrs with "Toss the Feathers":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_edkn7Qd9Zg

(In addition to being amazing musicians, each sister is more dreamy than the last. Sigh.)

If you like 90s R&B, here is some PM Dawn:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_0LHKxTy9g

Pop culture suggestions: sketch comedy

Meet Your Second Wife

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJEAGd1bQuc

You can imagine what happens on this game show!

American Ninja Warrior

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sK-iyzpZGPk

A man trains to inspire his town, which had been devastated by a natural disaster.

Lastly, if you'd like a tearjerker short animated video, this is a sweet and sad meditation on grief and healing:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXpGWhdwXuo

(Note: 2:24 is explained by 3:51)

[Mental Fairy]

I have so much to say currently but need some sleep, heading back up the mountain in morning. Yes, I know I’m crazy but I need to get one altitude!

Oak thank you so much for the links, just loved the ninja warrior!
A song you sent me a while ago came on in the car this morning and I burst into tears! Not in a bad way but in a good way.


Had to look after Donya today as she was very low. We turned that frown upside down. She even forgot her own clothing in a changing room! Laughed like school girls.

Taking you all with me tomorrow to see the new bridge on the hill.

My luggage is slowly filling up. Making room for more Swandri clothing to purchase down south. It’s a tradition to buy Swandri clothing here.




Hugs to you all.

[Mental Fairy]

A day climbing! Beautiful

[troebia]

Stunning!!