Vices

[weary]

You said before that you never used drugs or drank much because you want to be in control. Do you think that has something to do with not wanting to take meds too?

I have taken meds before. SSRIs/SNRIs from about 2003-2006, and for about 3 months in 2011. I have a prescription for clonazepam now that I take very occasionally 0.5-1 mg to take the edge off (1-2x a month). I was resistant to it at first, and was then so desperate that I tried it. Felt better for a while, but with perspective I became complacent and apathetic and situations actually got worse and I was less able to do anything positive about it. I didn't feel like myself. Not that I really like the way I feel now - I feel very detached and dissociated sometimes, especially when I'm overly stressed and tired.

[kaitlyn]

I was resistant to it at first, and was then so desperate that I tried it.

That's something I definitely struggle with too. I tend to quit my meds a lot (between once and three times a year, go figure). I don't usually get to the point of feeling complacent when on them though, normally I'm all over the place and if I'm stable then I'm doing everything, in addition to meds, I can to stay stable. I only quit when I'm depressed and decide that its not worth trying anymore (followed by getting back on them when I become suicidal, I have a pattern...). Plus lately I'm rejecting and trying to accept that I will be on meds the rest of my life, making me search for more naturopathic routes (bipolar doesn't have one unfortunately). I have more control than my anxiety makes me think I do, but I still have chemical imbalances that make me really not okay, so if I want to live (literally) its what I have to do, much as if I had diabetes.
Do you do talk or behavioral therapy? I have found for me that it helps a lot, being able to talk through stuff and have some stability.
There's also stuff like yoga and things that can help feel more connected to and present in your body.

[weary]

Individual therapy, group therapy, and yoga. Guess we're on the same page with that.

[gfyourself]

My vices are, in order
1. Constant mental churn (negative or neutral)
2. Food (in the sort of the "we both know I'm going to eat this" type of discussion with myself <as discussed in the Christian Finnegan podcast>, so I eat it to get it overwith, then I feel a bit more mellow). To expand on this, I'll by one sweet/bad thing in the grocery store and sort of tell myself, ok, I'll eat it reasonably... I don't have to tell you how that story ends.
3. Masturbation
4. Lottery tickets (eg. if there is a lottery that night I'll go buy a couple of tickets... then when I think about what I'm going to do with my eventual winnings seems to actually help me get to sleep faster). Also, I learned that I shared a habit with another person - I won't even check the tickets right away the next morning so I can maintain the illusion for as long as possible that I could still be a winner!

[Cheesehead]

Smoking, swearing, diet soda, ice cream.