I love "The Secret" and Billy Joel's "Uptown Girl".

[oak]

"The Secret" is one of my five favorite things. I don't know if this forum/this heading is the right place for it, but here goes!

While the book and audiobook both have their charms, here are my favorite parts of the movie, in descending order:

1. "Robert was a gay man." This is the gold standard of The Secret stories: bold yet raises-more-questions-than-answers start, short, full of action, clear arc, happy ending.

Though it is not played for laughs (very little in The Secret is, which part of why I love it so much: it is so earnest), I can't help but laugh when the bullies throw the milkshake on him. I also love, a moment later, where he is sitting in a tree (only in The Secret Universe) listening to The Secret on a 1989 era-walkman.

2. Anytime Lisa Nichols shows up.

3. I love Marie Diamond and her ridiculous story of how the "gorgeous" movie producer dated around, implied due to feng shui. I love Marie Diamond maybe even more than Lisa Nichols. Marie Diamond may be the greatest person in history.

4. Joe VItale is untrustworthy, but I can't take my eyes off him. (Plus he dropped out of my college, so I give him credit for that).

5. I like the story of the guy who crashed his plane. The re-enactment of him walking again (spoiler!) is cheesy, but he keeps the story moving. Plus he seems like an awesome guy. I think he is married to woman cured of cancer.

6. The scientist who says "I'm not talking to you about IM-AG-IN-ARY Cray-Zay-Nuss!". Other than the deadpan "Robert was a gay man", it is my favorite The Secret quote.

7. I was more than a little attracted to both the volleyball girl who got a date, and the good day/bad day woman, especially when she was putting on her nylons. Rawr!

What I don't like about The Secret:

1. Long/boring stories: especially the one where the guy earns a million dollars by selling books, and the snoozer about the guy who inadvertently gets his dream house. I also don't really care for the story of the gratitude rocks. Not because these are bad stories, but because they slow the movie down. This movie is on the fast track to Awesomeville, and can't be slowed down.

2. James Ray, since he since was disgraced.

3. Anything with the bald Everyman, especially where the elephant trumpets because it always startles me. I'm glad he got his bike stolen. He was kind of asking for it, at least according the logic of The Secret.

4. Towards the end, right before the all-time happiest of happy endings (spoiler: each of us is a god, and death is nothing to worry about, both pretty big ideas to drop in right at the end), they plainly say that any trauma one has experienced is, and I quote: "so what?". Go to hell, you minimizers! But all is soon forgiven, because except for James Ray it is hard to stay mad at anyone in The Secret.

Summary: I certainly don't want to seem like I am making light of the important/crucial topics it raises. It is more that I do unironically love the cheesy earnestness of the delivery. While I am sure there is some truth to the claims made in The Secret, as a piece of consumable culture it is pure joy. I could watch (or half-watch it, like a Hallmark movie, which I also love) every day for the rest of my life. I want to live in the universe of The Secret movie.