An alcoholic father

[Judith124]

I am new to this forum and need advice about my father's alcohol problem. My dad is an end stage alcoholic. He continues to drink about 1.75 liters of vodka. Now it has become very difficult for him to withdraw from it. He wants to stop but keeps on relapsing. I feel guilty and want to help him but he doesn't want my help. I'm looking for any good and insurance covered alcohol addiction treatment centre in Toronto for him. Any suggestions? While browsing I found many rehab sites. But don't know whether they can be trusted. Please share your thoughts.

[Beany Boo]

Judith124,

Welcome. I can't offer resources in that area. I can empathise with what you're going through. i have similar history. That is just to say I really feel for your situation and admire the step you're taking. I hope you share more in future posts and that you find a rehab facility that can treat your dad. All the best.

[oak]

Judith, thank you for sharing.

At this point I think it is a medical question.

I've heard that alcohol is the only drug whose withdrawal can kill you. I don't know if that is true, but your father's situation is very serious.

At this point, parsing the finer points of this-or-that rehab are a bit academic. If you can get him to a hospital for a medical detox, that might be the best first step.

Whatever happens, it is time to be ready to face difficult realities.

[HowDidIGetHere]

I feel guilty and want to help him but he doesn't want my help.

I think this is a pretty important bit. It may just be pride on his part and shame at being seen as so out of control by his child, but it is what it is. But as oak said, rehab is definitely a second step. It sounds like he will need a medically supervised detox before he'll be anywhere near ready for rehab. (I admit that we're assuming he hasn't been through one already, so apologies if that's not true.) Unsupervised DTs are a really bad scene—hallucinations, sky-high blood pressure, all kinds of gastrointestinal stuff.

It might be a reasonable first step to just start looking for hospitals in your dad's neighborhood that have detox facilities and just go talk to them. You may have to take strong steps like having your father committed against his will, but I'm not sure how that works in Canada (most U.S. states have their own processes for involuntary commitment). Usually, though, once a person gets into detox, there is often a somewhat clearer path from there to rehab. After all, they have much more experience with it than you do.

Good luck. And don't let your guilt lead you to things that aren't good for you. Like the flight attendants say, put your own oxygen mask on first before you try to help someone else.