Repressed memories?

[Biogirlie]

What do you do if you feel you might have repressed memories? "evidence" being former fear of intimacy and men, as a teen I had horrible panic attacks (lasted hours, had them for months) at night bc terror of someone coming into my room (resulted in fear of dark and desire for roommates) very early rape kink (11 when I became preoccupied with that kink) occasional nightmares that leave me screaming but little memory of the dream, and most recently, my boyfriend and I were having rough sex; he hit me (consensually and in line with how most of our sexy time goes bc I like it) I remember becoming slightly disoriented and a little scared (very unusual) and suddenly burst into very loud overwhelming tears. He stopped and was really scared and concerned, I just sobbed, completely overcome with a horrible sadness that I didn't understand. I was ok shortly thereafter (albeit shaky) but it kinda freaked me out. Idk where it came from or why. It almost felt like I went somewhere else? But I have no memories of any abuse (suspicions about ppl but that's all). How can I go abt discovering if I am repressing something? Or maybe I'm just paranoid and making mountains out of molehills.