reusing my workplace bullying survey sue me im lazy

[stamalki]

I work in an MRI department at a local hospital. My job is somewhere between clerical and clinical. I make phone calls, do paperwork and excel spreadsheets but I also help transfer patients from stretcher to table, change diapers, set up medication pumps and patient monitoring equipment etc. I have a lot on my plate at work especially bec we are understaffed at every level. Healthcare does this thing that when someone leaves or retires, they do not replace them. All the rest of the people just absorb their responsibilities. Balls get dropped everywhere. And they always seem to land in my face. (;( My manager is the manager of four departments, and my department director is the director of two hospitals and multiple other positions including VP of something stupid. He went on two vacations this summer. My manager is a raging bitchcunt who steps on everyone with a smile on her face and her fancy heels on her feet. She gets away with being mean by saying that that is her culture (Jamaican) but in my opinion shes just mean. A bully. I was bullied as a child so she triggers my demons in a big way. Once she heard about me complaining about her and she took me into her office. she began by saying I should take it up with HR only if I had documentation and proof. She went on to say that she could not change the way she is. She held up her Meyers-Briggs results that she had laminated. It said things like bossy, argumentative, perfectionist, outspoken, etc. Basically it said bitchcunt. She held it up and pointed to it saying "this is me and I am too old to change. If you don't liek it that is your problem. Now that I know you are sensitive I will try not to talk to you as much". All of this was with a smile on her face and the radio in her office on in the background. Ugh. I had to sit and take it and say that yes I was sensitive and I didn't mean to talk bad about you I was just asking advice from colleagues how to handle your criticisms. This is not the bullying. She bullies me by putting me down in front of other people. in the break room once I was eating a peice of pizza with meat on it. I am Jewish so she said to me "isn't that not kosher? See i know more about your religion that you do. I have a lot of Jewish friends. you shouldnt eat milk and meat together". My mouth full of pizza I wanted to say, "my dad is a rabbi and is an asshole so I eat what I want because I am my own person who can make my own choices". Instead she had moved on, people had laughed, and my face was bright red as I swallowed the lump of pizza. It was gross anyway but now I had to eat it all and another slice. At the Holiday party I made latkes. Basically potato pancakes, a Jewish traditional food around Hannukah time. As we were setting up the party She said to me in front of three people that no one would eat my Jew food anyway so I might as well go back to work, maybe even clean these serving utensils while your at it make yourself useful. SO... I am not sure if I am sensitive about being Jewish, or is she is an antisemitic bitchcunt manager in Prada.  When I asked for a raise " I want my salary to reflect the resposibility and the quantity of my work", she said that I was young and that I don't understand how things work yet and we would talk about it another time. She says that I am young in almost every time we meet. Seh saw me wince bec my back hurts and she sad that I was too young for that. Um I pull people over who are 300+ pounds I am allowed to have a backache. She also does not back me up like a manager should. This week I had a doctor call me and curse me out for asking his staff to send me in writing the make and model of a penile prosthetic of a patient so we could make sure to meet the conditions of safety fro MRI scanning. That is our process I told him. He sad fuck your process you are nobody give me your managers number. I stayed calm, recited the number and hung up. I told my supervisor what had happened and she said that I was in the right and that we needed all the information in writing and the doctor was an asshole. She said I should call the risk management department to log the incident. As I am leaving a message to them My manager comes in and says that I should have taken it to the radiologist. She did not wait to hear me say but that is not our process or policy. She took the pile of papers that I had worked on about this patient and took it to the reading room. completely ignored me. I said i would call risk management and report her instead of the dr for not backing up her employees but then i didnt do it. 

Once there was a department basketball game. no one at work had ever really met my husband before and I brought his as he happened to be available. hes busy. I sat right behind bitchcunt with her weave and her bangles and her heels and baubles. she wears all the jewelry that she can. She never once introduced her self or said hi to me or him. She completely ignored me and socialized with everyone else. 



On a different note: when it is ok for people at work to talk to you about haveing children? where is the line?

like why is it ok for men to ask about my uterus?

I had a co worker call me RIPE. like for fertilization. 

I told him i actually cannot have children without medical intervention nor do i want any atm. then i asked him what if I was having a very persona struggle with fertility and i was on hormones and really trying and here you are asking me why i dont have kids yet and that i should give my husband a baby. you could be digging the knife into me. 

I really do not want children though. I want to adopt. my genetics are horrible full of mental illness and personality disorders and addiction. all my neices and nephews have issues whether it be speech problems or adhd... something with all of them. why would i bring a being into this world when there are already beings in the world who i could help by giving love to? Or what if my dog and my husband and my plants completely fill me up and i dont want a fucking baby. 

stop asking me about my uterus.

So many feelings but i cant feel them as i am on so many medications. I cant cry. i eat my feelings instead. or smoke weed to distract myself from them. feelings are exhausting.