I'm queer, I'm here, and ... ... please don't notice me

[bbradle1]

Hello all.

I've been listening to Paul's show for several months now. Maria Bamford is one of my personal heroes, and I found the podcast through the episode she was a guest on.

I'm in my later 20's, work as a librarian, and still in school (almost done... almost done...). I came out for the first time a couple years ago, I think I must have been 24 at the time which I'm kind of self-conscious about, but whatever. I was in a the middle of some kind of major depressive episode, and I came out to my roommate. I was having a hard time not being a mess, so my roommate was pissed about me always leaving my stuff in the shared living-room, so I guess I thought if I came out it would make things better? I'm not sure it actually fixed that, but I found that it actually kinda felt good to come out, so I started coming out to my friends which was nice. I'm not out to my family, but not so much because I'm scared they won't accept me but rather that we're just an Irish-American family that doesn't talk about stuff like that. Or, as my therapist says after a session talking about my relationship with my mom, "NO WONDER YOU HAVEN'T TOLD HER YOU'RE GAY!"

I've had issues with depression and anxiety since around high school when I also had issues with self-injury. I had an awkward time telling my guidance councilor about my SI, who called my parents, and I was sent to therapy. I wasn't exactly keen on that and it was very productive. I stopped cutting because my parents would periodically check my body for cuts and if they found something that'd mean more time in therapy. While I haven't cut since then, my anxiety and depression has in many ways sort of evolved and gotten worse over the years. This summer I started therapy, and it has been going pretty well. I admittedly was hoping we'd meet for a few months and I'd be much better, while that hasn't happened, CBT has really helped me not spend entire days in bed depressed or paralyzed by anxiety, so that really is quite a blessing.

Um, so I guess that's my introduction. Sorry that it was long :/

[brownblob]

Welcome to the forum. I'm a fellow sufferer of depression. I'm glad to hear the CBT is helping you.

[oak]

Thanks for posting! Welcome.

Also, congratulations on coming out. Good luck with your graduate program.

[Beatrap]

OH SNAP> I'm going to have to dig through the archives to find Maria Bamford's episode.

[psychopathfree!]

Wonderful! Congratulations on coming out! Was from the Irish family too, I get it.
---but I didn't notice you