...all the help I can get

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Tinyfiddle
Posts: 11
Joined: October 25th, 2016, 8:46 am
Gender: Male
Issues: Depression. Anxiety
preferred pronoun: He

...all the help I can get

Post by Tinyfiddle »

Hello. Been in a severe depression for about 8 mos. kind of tired of telling my story. Tired of doing anything really. Tired of asking for help. Meds aren't working. On my third therapist this year. Can't find any support groups and I feel like I've exhausted the few friends I feel safe enough to talk to.

Listening to this podcast is my lifeline right now. My only meaningful human contact other than the two days my exwife allows me with my kids which I can't enjoy because I am so sad and afraid I am fucking up there lives with my depression. My ex is certainly going to use it as a weapon against me in court

So far I am still somehow managing to function on a bare minimum level. I'm afraid it won't last and I'll lose my job. Not sure what to expect here but I'll try anything to get out of this. Ok. Hopefully only four hours to go today then back to bed.

:violin:
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oak
Posts: 3547
Joined: January 18th, 2013, 8:44 am
Gender: Male

Re: ...all the help I can get

Post by oak »

I am glad you posted. I am sorry you are suffering.
Work is love made visible. -Kahlil Gibran
A person with a "why" can endure any "how". -Viktor Frankl
Which is better: to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort? -Skyrim
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brownblob
Posts: 827
Joined: January 22nd, 2016, 4:51 pm
Gender: male
Issues: depression and anxiety
preferred pronoun: whatshisname

Re: ...all the help I can get

Post by brownblob »

tinyfiddle
I'm glad you found the podcast. I've just pulled out of a yearlong depression and I know listening to the podcast was a great help to me. For me, it was like the support group I never had. All I can tell you is to keep trying meds and therapy and anything else that might help. I know what it's like when the high point of your day is crawling back into bed and not caring if you ever wake up. I hope you find something to alleviate your pain.
I don't like people much and they don't much like me. -A Beautiful Mind
I'm Homesick for a home I never had.--Soul Asylum "Homesick"
Tinyfiddle
Posts: 11
Joined: October 25th, 2016, 8:46 am
Gender: Male
Issues: Depression. Anxiety
preferred pronoun: He

Re: ...all the help I can get

Post by Tinyfiddle »

Thank you both. Glad to hear you have come through your depression brownblob. I can't even imagine that is a possibility right now. I seem to have some recollection that I was happy or at least content at one point but it doesn't seem real at the same time
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oak
Posts: 3547
Joined: January 18th, 2013, 8:44 am
Gender: Male

Re: ...all the help I can get

Post by oak »

So, TinyFiddle, do tell: how is it going?
Work is love made visible. -Kahlil Gibran
A person with a "why" can endure any "how". -Viktor Frankl
Which is better: to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort? -Skyrim
Tinyfiddle
Posts: 11
Joined: October 25th, 2016, 8:46 am
Gender: Male
Issues: Depression. Anxiety
preferred pronoun: He

Re: ...all the help I can get

Post by Tinyfiddle »

Hey Oak. Thanks for asking. I'm muddling through. I was able to rally myself for my time with the kids this weekend. It took a lot out of me and it's always hard when I have to bring them back to there mothers. Had a really intense session with my therapist too. The tears came back big time. Voiced some thoughts and fears I have been holding in forever I think. I was actually shaking and having trouble breathing and it was really hard to voice the words. Got a long way to go.
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Imissmysun
Posts: 282
Joined: June 29th, 2016, 5:44 am
Gender: Female
Issues: Anxiety, Depression, past trauma healing,
preferred pronoun: she
Location: Central New York

Re: ...all the help I can get

Post by Imissmysun »

you want to climb the wall and that is awesome - being in the hole and not being able to see the light - but... but for those of us who have peeked at the sun had a few good days in a row - you will breathe again the burden will lift ever so little but once you have the momentum it does become a little easier bit by bit -

Opening up helps - feeling the feelings helps - realizing you have walls and locks and barb wire and security systems all around you keeping people away is a big find - it just takes time to dismantle your masterful cage -

Welcome :)
Just another messed up chick, who hates her body and face, and voice, and thinks she is useless and her stuff isn't that bad and she should get over it.
-Sarah St. Lunatic
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