Please share with me types of intense therapy techniques

[still-insecure]

Hello! I'm a 43 year old professional, currently in grad school to become a counselor/psychologist.
But before I can allow myself to ever consider myself ready to help others, I feel that I need to address my own shit in a very intense way. The talk therapy I've had over the years with different LPCs has been quite disappointing! almost useless! The major issues I think I need intense therapy for are anxiety, control-issues, depression, sugar addiction, insecure, feel easily slighted, a little paranoid, obsess over both men and women (wanting validation), inability to make new friends (feeling that people just don't like me), defensive, angry.
I don't blame mom and dad anymore. I've spent many years being angry at them, but not so much anymore. My father passed away in 2015.
Also, I've been with my husband for 15 years (married 10). We have two children 9 and 4. I feel that if we didn't have kids that we wouldn't be together. It's like we're together for the sake of the kids. I feel that we should get some intense marital therapy or we should call it quits. Whenever we go to therapy, he 'shoots the shit' and jokes, never goes deep or gets 'real'.
Anyway, if anyone knows of some very intense techniques or programs I could try, please share! Thank you.